My Ninja brother said I was in trouble if I posted instead of going right to bed.

So I thought I would earn my trouble with a little controversy.

  • God made the world in seven literal days just like Jesus referred to it.  Can’t throw that out without making Jesus a liar.
  • Jesus was tempted in every way, without sin, so temptation or desire is not a sin.
  • ergo homosexuality is not a sin.  Just homosexual sex/lust/petting/kittens…
  • The best way to cure someone of homosexuality is to love them better than anyone else in their life.
  • We can pray for our enemies because sometimes God will break them to bring them to a better, repentant place.
  • Marriage is not God.
  • Jesus said celibacy was better than marriage.
  • St. Paul said celibacy was better than marriage.
  • Forgiveness = reconciliation.
  • Masturbation is not a sin.  Lust is.  If you lust more wanking than you do walking around sexually frustrated, then you have a clear decision to make.  If you lust more walking around all pent up than you do wanking, you have a clear decision to make.  Either way, you don’t know someone else’s heart so do what God’s Word does and shut up already.
  • Prostitution is a sin.  Period.  But we get this all the time on TV and if someone admits to wanking they lose their job.  America is messed up.
  • The Bible never says to accept Jesus into your heart, or make a decision for Christ.  It says believe and be baptized and you will be saved.  Suck it, anabaptists, or call Peter a liar.
  • Water without God’s Word, and faith (the presence of the holy spirit) is a bath and not a baptism.
  • The Holy Supper really is Jesus, because Jesus used “this is my body” and “this is my blood”.  Don’t pull a Bill Clinton on Christ and ask what ‘is’ is.
  • The church is not for good people, it is an ICU for fuck-ups.
  • Until you know you’re evil you cannot forgive or be good.
  • The Bible is true.
  • Period.
  • God sees you in the shower.  And the bedroom.  And the closet.  And the car.  So why do you care what someone wears to church.  Just get them to the ICU, stat!
  • It is OK to be selfish.  Selfishly seek the most and best.  That is eternal life in heaven.
  • Global warming is a total fraud.  The earth is doomed to wear out like a garment and the people on it die like maggots.  Fortunately, God recycles.
  • Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  Bad news: if you’re perfect (Jesus) this still doesn’t convince most people, and if you’re not perfect (me and everyone else) it gets even more ignored.
  • Everything but people is going to burn up and blow away in the world.  Relationships are the most important thing in the world because they’re the only thing in the world that will outlive the world.
  • Evil feels better now and shittier later.  Righteousness feels shitty now and better forever.
  • No one preaching that villains should turn themselves in, ever does turn their own selves in for much lesser crimes.  Thereby you know they’re hypocrites or liars.
  • Unbelief is worse than murder, drug dealing, or child molesting.
  • Abortion is murder.
  • Even rape.  We don’t execute the children of criminals for their crimes.
  • You can forgive anything with God’s help.  And find love at the end.  Without God’s help, you can’t really forgiven anything, and life is bitter indeed.
  • The only worthwhile thing in the world is loving God and other people.

There.  That ought to get a few conversational balls rolling.