Few things keep me humble as getting home from work.

I work 10+ hour shifts at a factory.  It is a good job, sometimes mentally challenging, and the pay is better than any job I’ve had in my life.

But by the time I get home the world is asleep, and I am all wrapped up in the flesh.  I’m tired, and I want to sleep.  I’m lonely, and I think about other people and the losses of this world.  I’m horny, and there’s this constant drum-beat in the back of my mind that I don’t need to pray, or read, or type as much as I need to get off.  I’m sometimes angry that the best job I have had in an earthly sense has cost me so much in terms of relationships and time, and then I want to go do forms or practice swordsmanship to work off the tension.

Do you see how much God seems to fit into this pattern?

It convicts me how very non-Godly I am.  But really, how accurate is that?  A Dr. in psychology told me that the physiological clocks that tell us how much sex is enough is genetic and largely predetermined.  Jesus frequently went off by himself to pray, to rest, to recharge.  The Psalms say that God grants sleep to those he loves (I won’t site it because if you look it up yourself you’ll remember it better.  King David said that God trained his hands for war, so is it really so ungodly to pour the energy of anger into training for battle?  Doesn’t another psalm say to be angry, but do not sin, to ponder it on our beds and be silent?  Doesn’t the pain of broken relationships and people’s love gone cold make me groan and yearn for heaven, where love endures forever, and we are never discarded, unwanted, or unwelcome?

So, at the end of my time to type and reminisce, maybe my nights aren’t really all that bad.  Maybe I’m buying into the Plato-inspired semi-Gnostic crap that the body is bad and the spirit is good.  Didn’t God make them both?  Aren’t we both?

“Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.” -Yoda

So I’m taking my cues from a super-powered Muppet more than God’s Word?

Now THAT is something to be ashamed of.

Peace.

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